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E31: When Abortion Was Offered To Me

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

I have a very strong conviction on abortion...

I am pro-life and believe that every foetus has the right to life and only God has the divine authority to take life.

There was a day, about 13 years ago, when abortion was recommended to me and Michiel and it's certainly not easy.

I share with you my story of how we were given this option of abortion and our journey through a very uncertain pregnancy.

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Hello and welcome to this episode, which will be a very personal one this week. It’s a part of my story that I’ve never shared publicly before and I just feel that the time is right.

It’s a topic not really related to hormones as per my usual content, but it’s a topic that is a bit hot at the moment and it forms part of my personal journey. And so therefore I wanted to share my story and my thoughts on my pro-life belief.

You may have heard me talk before about my daughter, Kayle that is profoundly deaf. She ahs 2 cochlear implants and as you can imagine, we’ve had a few extra obstacles to overcome with her.

She’s an amazing young lady, she’s just turned 12 in June and I love her to pieces.

She’s kind, compassionate, caring and an absolute delight to have as a daughter.

But it certainly has been a journey to get where we are. We’ve come a very long way, but we are still navigating our way through her very unique struggles as an almost-teen with hearing difficulties.

Although I’ve talked about Kayle’s disability before, I’ve never talked about the cause. So that is what this episode is about.

In 2009 we fell pregnant with our very first baby. It was not planned, but we were incredibly excited to become parents.

But about a week after we found out that I was pregnant, we were with a group of friends one night and one of them asked me about the red rash that she noticed on my chest. I did notice a slight itch from that afternoon, but when I actually looked down, my chest was covered in a red rash.

When I undressed that night, the rash was all over my body.

Needless to say I was a bit worried, as I didn’t only have myself to worry about anymore.

So the next day I rang my gynaecologists office and they sent me to the lab to get some testing done which came back inconclusive. But a week later, another specialist repeated the test and confirmed that I had had german measles or rubella.

It was absolutely devastating as I started to read the risks of rubella to an unborn featus.

The CDC states the following on their website:

Congenital rubella syndrome is a condition that occurs in a developing baby in the womb whole mother is infected with the rubella virus. Pregnant women who contract rubella are at risk miscarriage or stillbirth, and their developing babies are at risk for severe birth defects with devastating, lifelong consequences. CRS can affect almost everything in the developing baby’s body.

The most common birth defects from CRS can include:

  • Deafness

  • Cataracts

  • Heart disease

  • Intellectual disabilities

  • LIver and spleen damage

  • Low birth weight

  • Skin rash at birth

  • Glaucoma

  • Brain damage

  • Thyroid and other hormone problems

  • Inflammation of the lungs

And at this point I stopped reading…. Because it created so much fear and anxiety in me!

Eventually, we got to see our gynaecologist, who then spoke to us about the major risks and her exact words were “there is a bigger than 90% possibility that your baby will be severely disabled. Most likely brain damage, physical deformities, blindness or deafness.”

And then she said the words that no new parent would ever want to hear. “I suggest that you terminate the pregnancy”

Up to that point, termination was not even something that have come up in our minds. We never ever considered it. And our immediate response to her was absolutely not.

Because you see, we totally believe that our God is the Creator of all life.

And He promises that He will make all things work together for our good.

So we believed with all of our hearts, that one of 2 things would happen.

Firstly, that He will do a miracle and heal our baby completely, or

Secondly, that He will give is whatever it is that we’ll need, to take care of, love and raise a child with any form of disability.

And so for 9 months we prayed and trusted for our miracle!

It was not easy.

But God was so good. He was there for the entire journey, supporting us every step of the way.

We asked our gynea to treat the pregnancy as normal as possible and she was amazing.

I had more regular gynea appointments, about every 2 weeks and things progressed really well. Her tiny little body developed perfectly but we always knew that we won’t be able to know the big things until she was born.

And then on June 4th, 2010, our beautiful baby girl was born via an emergency c-section due to other complications. She was the tiniest thing at 2.1kg, so 4.6 pounds, and she was absolutely perfect.

And for 18 hours, I held and absorbed everything about her. Her breathing, her newborn groans, her smell, absolutely everything.

I was so incredibly grateful that we were brave enough to make the hard decision and stick with it. And allow this little miracle the right to life on this earth.

I was grateful that we were able, by the absolute grace of God, to start fighting for her when she was still only just a few cells growing, inside of my womb.

But then about 18 hours after she was born, she became jaundiced and our wonderful paediatrician immediately admitted her to the NICU, where the 11 day journey started. She had every single test under the son so they could determine what her cluster of symptoms would be. And this is when we found a few things.

Firstly, her eyes had white and black spots on the retina, which is called salt and pepper retinopathy. We were told by the specialist that It may or may not affect her sight, but he also told us that it was an absolute miracle that it appeared that her sight was fine. We were so grateful!

Secondly, the platelets in her blood was dangerously low, which posed a large risk for any kind of bleeding, including internally.

Thirdly, she had a PDA, which is a ‘hole’ for the lack of a better word, between the heart and lungs. Most babies have this and it normally closes withing 48 hours after birth. Her’s did not and the cardiologist prepared us that she will need surgery, which they couldn’t perform at the time because she was too small.

And lastly, our paediatrician informed us with tears in his eyes, that Kayle was profoundly deaf.

It was the hardest news I’ve ever had to process. For about 24 hours, neither Michiel or I could talk to anybody.

It felt like somebody ripped my heart out of my chest.

And the incredibly hard thing, was that Michiel was equally shattered.

We didn’t even have the energy or courage to talk to our families. So we sent them a text and couldn’t talk to them for about a full day.

I remember thinking, the first voice that Kayle will ever hear, will be that of her Creator when she meets him one day in heaven. And that somehow felt comforting to me.

It was a long journey from that day on.

Kayle ended up having her first cochlear implant at 22 months of age, 2 months before her little brother was born and the second when she was 5.

It was nothing like you see on those cute videos where the babies start laughing when they can hear for the first time. IT was incredibly traumatic for all of us.

But we’ve come through it and God has been so incredibly faithful to us through that entire journey.

So today I feel that Michiel and I, have earned the right to speak our pro-life perspective loud and clear.

Not that I think others don’t have the right to do so, but often you get confronted with the fact that you have no idea what people are going through when they have to make these decisions.

I believe every Christian should be advocating for unborn babies, it is our duty.

But I’m grateful for the perspective that I have earned.

That I can tell you that nothing would have made me decide anything else.

I was going to protect that baby inside of me with everything that I”ve got.

And only God is the giver and taker of life, that is His divine authority, not that of a human.

And my view is that the abortion laws, particularly in New Zealand, is absolutely disgraceful.

When I look at Kayle today, I can’t imagine not giving her the gift of life.

She is an incredibly blessing to everybody that knows her!

When I started thinking about sharing this episode, I thought about the things that I’ve learned through that journey, and I would love to share that with you today.

Firstly, that God’s grace is sufficient for all of us and for every situation.

2Cor12:9 says “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

It was amazing to experience this.

Although the situation was really tough, the physical burden that we were carrying felt light. God’s grace is sufficient for each situation. And although things may feel really heavy, I wanna encourage you to reach out to Him in your weakness, as that’s when He will reveal His power to you!

Whatever you are going through, God will give whatever it is that you’ll need to come out strong.

Secondly, something that I learn over and over again, is that if hope is lost, the battle is lost.

And that Jesus Christ is the eternal Hope.

2 Thes 2:16-17 says that Christ has given us eternal comfort and good hope to encourage our heart and strengthen us.

I’ve learned that, as humans, we place our hope in a desired outcome. The hope that everything will be ok. But when things don’t turn out they way we hope they will, we loose hope and end up in a very dark place.

Instead, we should be placing our hope and trust in Christ, who never changes and who will never fail us or let us down.

The third lesson I’ve learned, is that God’s word is true, even when I don’t feel that I can see it with my natural eyes.

The scripture that pulled me through that time was Psalm 139, specifically verses 13-16, which says

For You formed my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you,

For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Marvelous are Your works,

And I know this very well.

My frame was not hidden from You

When I was made in secret,

When I was woven together

in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes say my unformed body;

All my days were written in Your book

And ordained for me

Before one of them came to be.

Such a powerful promise that my unborn baby was in the hands of the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. There was no safer place for her to be!

And lastly, I’ve learned that the beautiful things in life, that we often value and cherish, come from places and times that we least expect them.

God knows what’s good for us.

And we need to trust Him and the journey.

When we are at our weakest, He is strong within us

He is gracious and kind and this journey that we’ve had to go on, has taught us that!

Michiel and my dream is that Kayle will use her testimony to fight for the lives of millions of unborn babies and that she will encourage and empower women and men across the globe to put their trust in Christ, no matter what the circumstances are.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you.

I would love for you to share this episode with somebody you love and might need some encouragement right now.

And while you’re here, please subscribe to the Beauty in Balance podcast and write a review.

Just before I leave you, I have something very exciting that I’m working on behind the scenes and I would love for you to be part of it.

In the next week or 2, I’ll be accepting enrollments for my free 5 day mini coaching experience, where you’ll go from survive to thrive in 5 days.

I wanna invite you to join the daily coaching sessions, which will be held at 8pm EST for 5 days and my goal is to serve you and provide a truck load of value to you, for free, so you can find the tools that you need to understand your body and take control of your symptoms.

So keep an eye out for that or better still, head to my website, and on the front page, opt into the quiz or submit an enquiry and you’ll get the email notification when I start accepting enrollments for the free hormone coaching experience!

As always, thanx for being here

Get in touch and share with me your inspirational story, I would love to hear from you.

Until next time my friend

Take care

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