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E26: How To Thrive & Be Sexy In Your 30s, 40s & Beyond

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

You CAN feel sexy in your 30s and 40s, with your libido at the highest it has ever been. Can you imagine the effect this will have on your marriage?!

Learn my proven 8-step formula to thrive and be sexy as you head towards menopause!

Episodes referenced:

Join the Waitlist for the Hormone Health Academy today to be part of the next intake!


Welcome back to the beauty in balance podcast.

I feel so lucky to have you here and I’m excited to share information with you during each episode, that can help you heal your hormones and your body.

And I speak from experience when I say that, when we heal our hormones and body, it affects our relationships and jobs in a big way.

And that’s what I wanna talk about today.

Sadly, most women in their 30s and 40s, most of the women my age, are not living their best life. And for a few years, that was me. And unfortunately I never realised that there was more to life than what I had!

What I want you to understand is, that as moms, we forget about our own wellbeing. And when we suddenly realise things don’t work anymore, we are a loooong way off the track.

But the good news is, that we CAN get rid of the mood swings, sleepless nights, growing tummy tube, acne, hot flashes, lumpy and tender breasts, and experience healthy, sustainable weight loss, improved sex drive, healthy energy levels.

So the short of it is, we can absolutely thrive and be sexy in our 30s, 40’s and beyond.

Is that good news or what?!

At the age of 36, I feel the sexiest I’ve ever done. I’m talking in the context of my marriage.

And it’s got nothing to do with my weight, or skin or muscle tone.

In fact, I’m starting to get wrinkles, which I love by the way, I’m not the strongest or most toned I’ve ever been.

But I’ve never been as tuned into my cycle as I am now.

Which means my libido is really healthy and most of all, predictable.

We were not created to have a sex drive every day of the month.

For me personally, I have a really healthy libido in my follicular and ovulation phases and sometimes a few days into my luteal phase.

And because it’s predictable, it has taken a lot of pressure off of our marriage.

LIttle bit of real talk here ladies.

I know that many many marriages suffer under this pressure.

Women have little to no libido and men feel rejected.

And there’s this expectation to have intimacy. Women feel, we’ll it’s been a week since we’ve had sex and therefore I’m ok to not show any interest right now. I have another 3 weeks of being off the hook and then the pressure is on again.

Men feel the complete opposite!

And it create’s a lot of friction, rejection, pressure and conflict.

But the good news is that you can absolutely turn that around and have the strongest libido you’ve ever had, in your 30s, 40s and beyond!

And there’s even better news, if you get this right in the peri-menopausal stage, which is approximately the 10 years before menopause and often even earlier, you will set yourself up to breeze through menopause without any of the nasty symptoms. But it’s critical that you start now and build that foundation.

So today I wanna share with you my 8 step framework that will take you from where you are right now, to thriving and feeling sexy in your 30s, 40s and beyond.

And it’s also this framework that I use inside of the Hormone Health Academy and that has seen many women achieve some really life-changing goals.

And just to set the expectations, there’s no magic cure here. We have to grow our vitality and health by prioritising our wellness and body and the biggest source of healing is your lifestyle. A strong, healthy libido is a result of a healthy body. So if you prioritise your health and wellness, libido is going to make her return for sure!

No supplements, or natural medicine or anything else will do what a supportive lifestyle will do. I really want you to hear this today. Because the average American spends about $40 000 on supplements in their lifetime. In NZ, kiwis spend about a billion dollars a year on supplements and in Australia that number is $9 billion dollars a year!

Unfortunately, the largest percentage of that is unnecessary and offers no health benefits.

So please hear this today. Before you spend another dollar on that magnesium supplementation, or natural hormone support supplements, or protein shake, consider your lifestyle through the lens of these 8 steps and ask yourself if you are really increasing your health and wellness through those supplements. I think you know the answer.

Unfortunately, when one doesn't work, we just move onto the next one that offers all the promises of health and wellness.

So here goes.

My 8-step proven framework to thrive and feel sexy in your 30s and 40s:

1. First of all, you need to get a complete physical investigation done. This includes a full blood panel, and a symptom questionnaire.

This will help you and your healthcare providers to know what you’re dealing with.

Thyroid issues could be at the root of many of your symptoms, or nutrient deficiencies, or most likely hormonal imbalance. And if you have no idea what the root cause is, you might be making it worse.

But if we do know what we’re dealing with, specific lifestyle changes can be targeted at your symptoms and the root cause, but also, we can be very specific about supplementation. Please do not underestimate this important step.

2. The second step to get you thriving and sexy in your 30s and 40s, is pampering your liver.

I can never talk about liver health enough.

Not only does it get rid of toxins, but it also plays a huge role in regulating your hormones.

And unfortunately, we live in a society where we absolutely wreck our liver function.

We feel tired all the time, and therefore we depend on caffeine and sugar to get through each and every day, which is detrimental to our liver health.

And this is all because we have no idea how to increase our energy levels sustainably. How do you actually get through a day without having to rely on coffee and sugar? And how do we go through each and every night without relying on that glass or 2 of wine.

These are the things that are putting you in the negative spiral that sends you further and further away from vitality.

And I know, the thought of giving all of that up is probably not something you want to explore. Most women have no idea how to NOT rely on these things.

It’s a process. It’s something that you need a proven roadmap for. Because when you start to feel better, you’ll rely less and less on these things.

So it’s just about knowing where to start in this cycle. How do we go about feeling better so we don’t need to rely on these things that totally overload the liver, to the point where it can’t effectively regulate our hormones any longer.

Or even get rid of any other toxins for that matter.

So give your liver a little more love and you’ll be surprised how much your energy levels, libido, and vitality will increase!

3. The third step is gut healing.

Gut health is critical to feeling vibrant and sexy.

I’m sure that you’ll agree with me that there’s nothing sexy about bloating and constipation?

Researchers are linking poor gut health with hormonal imbalance, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, auto-immune disorders and mental health disorders.

But just in case you think that will never happen to you, you might be battling with any of these symptoms, that are very likely linked to poor gut health:

  • Chronic pain

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Inability to lose weight or even packing on the pounds

  • Migraines and headaches

  • Chronic inflammation

  • Chronic fatigue

For me, looking after your gut is non-negotiable, because it will have a significant impact on how you feel every day but also on your long-term health and wellness.

In a nutshell, looking after your gut means you eat loads of plant-based foods, avoid sugar and preservatives and take a probiotic.

4. The fourth step is to manage your stress and emotions.

This is such a massive part of healing. And it’s obviously something that takes a lot of time, support and energy. But the reward and healing that comes from it, is something that I’ll never be able to explain to you in words.

This is still an ongoing process for me.

I’m committed to dealing with past traumas and pain, because I know the significant impact it has had on my hormonal and overall healing.

I’ve embraced this process so much the last few years, and although it has not always been easy, it has paid off so much.

The fact is, if you’re trying to get everything else right.

So you eat loads of organic plant based foods, you exercise regularly, look after your liver and gut, but don’t deal with your trauma, pain and emotions, it will just cancel out all the hard work that you are putting in.

I can’t emphasise this enough.

So I want to encourage you today to make a commitment to yourself to start paying attention to this aspect.

For me, it includes practising self-awareness every day.

I’m in the habit of identifying negative emotions immediately and then paying attention to them. What are they, where do they come from and what could be the real cause for me feeling this way.

I promise, if you keep doing this, and have somebody that you can trust that you can talk to regularly about this process, you’ll soon start to experience healing in ways you never thought possible.

And then not only focusing on past traumas, hurt and negative emotions, but also the pandemic of our time, stress.

Emotional and physical stress.

The source of stress is just everywhere, it surrounds us from every side.

Kids to raise, marriage, work, sport, social life, finances, work relationships, social pressures, the list is so very long.

And we simply can’t heal, physically or mentally, when we are stressed.

When cortisol levels are out of control, and you’ll remember that cortisol is one of our stress hormones, we simply won’t heal.

And let me tell you, this does not have to be a complicated process.

It can be simple strategies, that take the minimum amount of time, that will help you to start regulating your stress response at a hormonal level.

And my students learn all of these skills inside the Hormone Health Academy.

And although it’s simple, it’s life changing.

5. Moving on to step five, regulating your blood sugar.

If you haven’t already, you can go listen to episode 24, where I talk about how your blood glucose may be disrupting your hormones. In that episode, I share with you the common tell-tale signs of blood sugar levels that are on a roller coaster, and my favourite hacks for preventing the blood sugar roller coaster, without kissing goodbye your favourite treats.

If your blood sugar levels are not regulated, you’ll constantly feel tired and be chasing the next thing that will help you get through the day.

There’s nothing sexy in that, because you end up on the coach the moment the kids hit their pillows and you feel drained and exhausted.

So trust me, you would not want to skip this step.

6. Step number 6 is prioritising your sleep!

You may be thinking, on what planet would you have time for sleep.

But the thing is, if you don’t sleep at least 8 hours a night, your body is not able to heal optimally. And this leads to all sorts of unsexy-ness.

How about that hangover feeling

Puffy eyes

Chronic fatigue

Chronic inflammation


And quite frankly, feeling like you’re on a hamster wheel.

Trying to survive the day and get back to bed, from the moment you open your eyes in the morning.

Trust me, you want to prioritise your sleep.

But not only the hours, you need to also make sure you have a healthy sleep environment, like sleeping in a very very very dark room, with no noise, creating a space where your body can naturally relax and get ready for sleep.

7. Step number 7, is to eliminate toxins.

You know, for years I thought this was a marketing gimmick to get people to buy more expensive natural products.

But the impact of environmental toxins on our bodies is significant.

I used to trust that the authorities would only have safe products on our shelves.

But this is not the case my friend.

You are your own best advocate, all the rest only worry about their bottom line.

Toxins are surrounding us from all sides, from skincare products, the clothes we wear, our bedding, the containers in our kitchen, cleaning products, the water we drink. It’s everywhere. And the sooner you start paying attention to that and become more intentional about avoiding it, the sooner your body can start healing. Trust me.

8. And the final step, and also one of my favourites, is to learn how to live in harmony with your cycle.

How to eat for each phase, what exercise you need during each phase, how to plan your social calendar, etc.

Because, you probably never knew this, but the 4 phases of our menstrual cycle are vastly different.

It’s like the 4 seasons of the year. And once you start respecting that, you’ll be amazed at the outcome.

I’ve also done an episode on the 4 phases of the menstrual cycle. It was episode 16, but you can also listen to episode 21 to learn how the 4 phases can affect your personality and episode 25 to learn how tracking your cycle can improve your health, enrich your relationships and supercharge your career.

And one you put all of these 8 steps into action, it becomes a beautiful symphony.

I’ve never felt more confident inside of my body.

Or more vitality

And I won’t let you in on too much, but it has had a HUGE effect on my libido and how sexy I feel in my skin in my late 30s.

And I want the same for you.

I believe that my 8-step proven framework is what can also get you feeling vitality and sexy in your 30s and 40s and therefore I wanna extend the invitation to join me inside the hormone health academy.

It’s an intensive 9-week program, where I’ll walk you through this framework, so we can implement it with ease and you’ll get similar results to my students that have gone through the program.

The doors will open again on the 1st of August, but in the meantime you can join the waitlist so you can be the first to know when enrolments open.

I only take 15 students at a time, to make sure that you’ll get the best possible experience and results.

If you join the waitlist, you’ll be the first to know.

Go to to join today, or you can find the link in the show notes.

I would so love to have you there.

If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, I would love to ask you 2 favours.

Please share it with a friend.

And secondly, subscribe to my podcast and leave a review. I would be so very grateful.

Ok friends, until next week.

Bye for now

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